Hey there, Pumpkin
I officially suck at Halloween. As a kid, I wore the same costume 3 years in a row out of sheer lack of imagination. And it’s worse when you know what the costume was. I wore oversized Groucho Marx glasses in addition to a puff paint sweatshirt of animals wearing Groucho Marx glasses. Very similar to this gem.
Then there was the time in college when I suggested to my roommate that we attend the KA “Party Like a Rockstar” bash dressed as…wait for it…the Indigo Girls. HAWT. Or the “Dead Celebrities” party where I went as Jon Benet Ramsey. Too soon?
Let’s not forget the Halloween in New Orleans where I convinced my advertising friends that we should go as the popular-at-the-time Gap commercial where everybody is in fleece vests singing Madonna. So many problems. 1. It’s 90 degrees in NOLA at Halloween. 2. Nobody wears clothes on Halloween. 3. We were just wearing NORMAL CLOTHES FROM THE GAP. When people would ask who we were, we’d get in line and tilt our heads and start singing. So. Lame. And now, hilarious.
And then, my pièce de résistance, the Merrymakers (basically a Junior League for men in Tampa) Halloween Party. The theme was black and white, so I cobbled together a most unsexy referee costume. Think white capri pants, a boxy polyester referee jersey, a stupid hat and a yellow flag sticking out of my butt pocket. And the best part? I was misinformed, and the theme was actually Heaven & Hell. So, I was surrounded by hot little angels and devils. The only guy that spoke to me all night was 45 years old and named Dill. I called a foul. On myself.
So this year, I’m sticking to dressing up a mood board for the occasion. I think this will turn out much better.
Pumpkin Spice. It’s not just for lattes anymore.
Do you embrace the orange in your life? Or do you think it belongs in the 70s with avocado? How about Halloween costumes? Got any embarrassing doozies that can top mine? Doubtful.